We've all gone crazy lately...lately?

some random ramblings

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Ok, I'm sitting here at work. I don't want to be here. I feel like shit. I have a cold or another sinus infection. I think it's from this wacky weather we've been having. The heat wave is finally over - thank Gods - and it is about 20 degrees cooler today than yesterday. The past week or so the temps have been in the 90s and low 100s and very humid. A cold front came through last night - big storms came with it - and it is much better now. It is absolutely gorgeous here today.

I went to bed at about 6:30pm last night and woke up around 3am this morning. I didn't get on the computer when I got home because we had a bad storm. I will have to log into my class tonight. It's a math class - College Algebra I. Gods, I haven't done this stuff in ages! Good thing is that I won't have to take College Algebra II and might be able to test out of a few courses. That will save me time and money. I also have one car payment left! YAY!! Plus, I am 20 days sober. Ok, back to work. TTFN. Peace.

PS - How could I forget to mention this: ELTON IS COMING TO TOWN!!! September 9, Wachovia Center. WOOHOO!!!

Sunday, July 17, 2005

I forgot to mention that I went to the Philadelphia Freedom Concert on July 4th. I had won a pass off Elton's website. I managed to get into the front row. The concert was terrific! Bryan Adams, Patti Labelle, Rufus Wainright, Peter Nero and the Philly Pops. Bruce Vilanch and Wayne Brady hosted the concert. I met a local DJ named Pierre Robert from 93.3FM WMMR. He's a local radio legend. As I was walking into the concert, I was right behind John Mahon from Elton's band. I put my hand on his back and said "Excuse me, sir" as I walked by. He kinda turned and looked at me. After I finally got in the front row, I got to pat Billie Jean King on the shoulder as she walked by me. I was originally seated farther back, but asked a security guard where was I supposed to be and he pointed down front. I think I was the only one with one of the free passes who asked and got down front. It's not like I could have asked on behalf of all 350 of us who won the passes. When I was down front, the people seemed to be the ones who paid $500 to sit down there or had gone to the ball. The ball and concert were to raise AIDS/HIV awareness. The ball raised over $1.5 million for the Elton John AIDS Foundation and some local charities. WAY TO GO ELTON! Thank you for a great show!
It's been over a month since I last posted. Quite a bit has happened. I relapsed again back on July 7. My parents were away. They took the trailer up to Hickory Run for a couple days. I kinda had a feeling a relapse was coming but didn't say or do anything to stop it. Why I didn't, I have no idea. All that fucked up thinking came back - the denial, the self-centeredness, the anger and frustration. I wound up getting drunk that Thursday night. I called my mom on her cell at 3am, really drunk. My parents got home Friday afternoon. I had a hangover so I called out sick. My parents were not to happy and there was a tension between my dad and myself. I take full responsibility of what happened. I know I really broke my parents' trust.

It's been kinda hard since then to get motivated in all areas of my life. I'm behind in my work and school assignments. Work has also been very busy because several people were on vacation. One of the receptionists is away until next week. I swear if she ever takes a 2 week vacation again, I'll kick her ass. I'm beginning to feel better so I'm going to get my ass in gear and work. I'll take my iPod to work and put my headphones on to block out any distractions. I have a boombox with a radio and CD player. The radio tuner is broken so I gotta get a new one. We get paid at the end of this week so I'll wait until then.

Good news - I finally got a sponser. I met her at a meeting on Saturday night. She has over 16 years sobriety and we get along. She is going to take me through the steps and help me get to meetings. She wants me to do 90 meetings in 90 days. There are a few gay/les/bi meetings in the area that she goes to and has offered to give me a ride to them. I am a bit nervous as she is my first sponser but I am determined to get sober and stay sober. I want to get my life back on track. Ok, it's getting late so I'm off to bed. Oh, I got the new Harry Potter book! I'm up to chapter 11 and am loving it. TTFN. Peace.