Looking like a true survivor...

- I'm Still Standing - Elton John '83


Today is 2 years sober. It's so hard to believe. The time just seems to fly by. So much has happened in the time since my last drunk on June 21, 2006. I like to think that I have grown somewhat emotionally and spiritually. I still have periods of depression and self-loathing. I still get a bit 'squirrely' in my head. Let's face it, my mind is a bad neighborhood to visit, sorta like Compton at 2am. I am starting to get more responsible, although I still have a way to go yet. I am more able to deal with what life dishes out. I stayed sober when my grandmother died. I haven't thought about picking up a drink over losing my job. I'm going to apply for a higher up position, which will hopefully mean more money. I've been home alone and not thought of drinking. I made sure the animals were taken care of and to look after things around the house. Although, my room still looks like an F5 tornado hit it. Progress, not perfection. I need to gravitate towards positive people and away from those who will bring me down. I don't care for bullies, having been picked on while growing up. I just need to remember that the bullies have issues of their own and instead of going on the defensive, pray for them. Pray that God removes those glaring character defects, but only if it is His will. Ok, back to playing WoW. My night elf druid is halfway to lvl 66. TTFN. Peace.

Wow. Quite a bit has happened since my last post. I'm coming up on 2 years sober. The gal I like has 8 months. I had her speak for me Memorial Day weekend at the glbtq AA meeting. She did a great job. I'm proud of her. I see a lot of similarities between our stories. I chaired the meeting for the month of May. I did miss one meeting because I was isolating. I also missed the disctrict meeting. Sue keeps getting on my case about that and it bugs the shit out of me. It's like, I'm sorry so can we let it go? I dunno. Maybe it's good she does it so I don't drink again. I know she does it out of love and concern.

Earlier in the month of May, we went to Eastern State Penitentiary. I took a lot of pics, which I uploaded to my Photobutcket album. It's really neat there. I hope to go back because you can't see everything in one trip. I'm glad to get away from things. Especially since I'm about to lose my job. The corporate pinheads decided to centralize the busniess office and move charge entry to the Erdenheim office. They've done this in the past, only to move it back to the sites within a year or two. If I was to do the same job at 906, I'd have to apply and interview for it. That's just fucking bullshit. I think they're doing that so they don't have to pay me as much. I'd still get the benefits, which are really good, but I'm sure my pay would go down. How nice of them when gas is $4/gallon. I could apply for another position within the company. I'm hoping to get one at our site, the one further down Broad Street, where my mom works. I have to get my resume together and apply at other places as well. I'd like to get one closer to home, perhaps at Penn Foundation or Harleysville Insurance.

I am surprised I'm taking the news so well. I didn't want to drink over it, although it would be nice to crack some of their skulls and say, "What the fuck are you thinking?!?!?" They FINALLY posted the jobs down at 906. They were supposed to post them at the beginning of May. Not like they ever do anything on time. I'd been really behind in my work, but my boss helped me out a bit. I'm getting caught up, slowly, but surely.

I went to Akron for Founders' Day June 6-8. It was hot as Hell, but I had fun. No dyke on a bike this year. I took a bunch of pics, although not as many as last year. I will try to post some. I put a one year coin on Dr. Bob's gravestone and took a 2 year coin. I made sure to put a notch in my old one. I also picked up a 20 year coin for Sue. Her anniversary is in November. I got some pins for my friends.

I'll have 2 years sober this weekend. I never thought I'd get this far. I try not to think about it too much because I'm still good at doubting myself. Maybe instead of bitching about the things I don't have or that don't go my way, I should remember how blessed I am. I'm not in China dealing with the aftermath of the devastating earthquake, the mid-western US having floods and tornadoes or in Burma after the cyclone and a government that doesn't care about its people. (damn! Now there's a run-on!) I'm sick of all the pissing and moaning from all sides of the political spectrum. I don't like paying over $4/gallon for gas either.

I am sick of ultra-conservatives and ultra-liberal fighting. I'm a bit of a liberal, especially on social issues, and don't like being told I don't care about people, that I'm anti-American, anti-religion, anti-family. Yeah, I'm an alcoholic/addict so I can be self-centered, but not to the point of not caring about others. I can't donate to charity as often as I'd like due to financial constraints of my own. However, I have loved ones who've dealt with cancer, MS, Lupus, HIV/AIDS and I do what I can. Maybe this is a bit of leftover PMS from last week when I had my period. Oh well, I'm at work and I want to get out of here on time today. I have a lvl 64 night elf druid to work on. I'm also going to a meeting tonight. TTFM. Peace.