It is a sunny Friday. It's hard to believe it's May already. This year is just flying by so quickly. My grandmother comes home today. I don't know how this going to work. She can barely walk and will be confined to a chair or bed. we think she has some Parkinson's disease. We also wonder if she had a mini-stroke. Things should be interesting to say the least. I will be sure to get to a lot of meetings. My anniversary is next month and the added stress of caring for my grandmother could be a trigger for a relapse if I'm not careful. I know plenty of people who would put their foot up my ass if I did. I would also throw away my tenure as GSR for the glbt meeting I attend and as Grapevine rep for another group. I also have the feeling that I would not be back for a while, maybe if ever.

I still find myself feeling resentful and jealous of Sue and her girlfriend. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. I'm the one who's in love with a gay guy. I've been very moody and a bit distant recently. and to think people tell me I appear more confident. HA! And if you believe that then I got a bridge in Arizona I want to sell you. I need some confidence and self-esteem. How in God's name can you say I have something I lack?!?!? I'd kill to be normal, whatever that is. It certainly ain't me. Tonight I'll go to a meeting then play WoW. I got a lvl 40 blood elf pally with a mount. I also have a couple of alts I gotta lvl up. Ok, I gotta get some work done. TTFN. Peace.