We've all gone crazy lately...lately?

some random ramblings

Saturday, September 04, 2004

What a very busy week in the news. My heart just breaks over the tragedy in Beslan, Russia. It boggles the mind why people do such horrific things. The children, parents and teachers were innocent victims. If there is a hell, I hope terrorists go to the worst, hottest spot there. The victims of this tragedy are in my thoughts and prayers.

I hope the residents of Florida get through Hurricane Frances. This is the last thing they need right now, especially those still trying to recover from Charley. On CNN, I saw this guy out surfing! That guy either has big cajones or is crazy. I'm surprised he wasn't arrested - or killed.

OK, besides terror attacks and hurricanes, things in my part of the world are relatively quiet. Every Thursday at noon, I see my D&A therapist - every other week, my parents go with me. I am glad and blessed to have people who are willing to help any way they can. The last thing any of us wants is for me to slip or worse. I am worried because I still crave alcohol a lot more than I tell people. I know that I should be totally honest, but it's hard. Why the fuck is it so hard to tell the truth about how bad I want it? How much I think, dream and fantasize about it? Maybe I'm just fucked in the head. I get insanely jealous everything I see anyone else drink, whether it be on tv, people around me or even my friends online. In two weeks is my dad's 45th high school reunion. I know they'll be gone the afternoon and won't be back until late. Do I trust myself to be alone? I don't know who to trust anymore. Remind me to tell what happens at work. OK, it's after 9 pm and I want to take a shower - please don't imagine that. TTFN. Peace.


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