Wow. It has been a while since I last posted. Gosh, where to start? I have been very busy with school work and going to meetings with my sponsor, Sue. I went to Rochelle and Jim's wedding on October 15th. I went with Robin, Nydia and her two kids. At the reception, I got a Jolly Rancher (peach schnapps, apple schnapps and cranberry juice) and took a couple sips from it. I put it down to go take pictures. I saw Robin take a sip then exchange it for plain cranberry juice. I was angry at her at first, but then realized that she was only looking out for me. I was tempted to get another drink and sneak off to drink it. However, I just spent the rest of my time dancing.

My cravings went into high gear after that. I found myself thinking, dreaming and scheming about alcohol. It was unbelievable. I felt guilty too. Guilty that I didn't call Sue even though she was down in North Carolina. She gave me a good talking to and had me start working on my gratitudes, fears, resentment and things I could lose lists. I'm not on my 4th step, but she had me start on my list of those I need to make amends to and who I hurt because of my drinking. We've been going to a lot of meetings. I also get to meet other people in the program and get to get out of the house. It is cool to meet so many other gay and lesbian A.A.ers. I don't feel so alone.

Work is going ok. We are going to start this system called Kronos. (I don't know if they realize that is the name of the Klingon home planet in Star Trek) We will log into our computers first thing when we get to work, log out for lunch then log out in the evening when we go home. I think this will be a major pain in the ass. We will have to wait and see. I asked my classmates if they ever heard of it but no one has. Or at least, no one worked with it before. These last two courses - 'Critical Thinking and Computer Logic' and 'Computers and Information Processing' went well. I got a B- in the first one and an A in the second one. My next class starts on November 15th.

I saw my psychiatrist this evening. She gave me a script for my meds and I see her in 11 weeks. I see my therapist this Friday and my neurologist on the 23rd. I might as well get these done before Thanksgiving on the 24th. Ok, I better get ready before my sponsor gets here to take me to a meeting. I will write more later. TTFN. Peace!